My sister once said something that seems to sum up the way I feel about cheese very succinctly. She said, "If I could have any dream job, the one I want is the one where I get to go around the world tasting cheese."
I love cheese (obviously a family trait). I love it enough that I've started trying to make it. Should that sort of thing intrique you, you can check out the cheese site I've got going with a couple of friends.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Memorial
Eight years. That is how long my umbrella and I had been together. It saw me through many a commute to downtown Chicago, and I knew after the first winter that this was an extraordinary umbrella. It never flipped inside out, when it started breaking it was always in a way that was easy to fix, and it felt solid and stable in my hand.
Last night, in a moment of carelessness, I left my umbrella, despite all its years of commitment and service, in the park. It sat there all alone, abandoned. I hope that someone who needed an umbrella picked it up and will use it despite its akward bent spoke that has to fixed each time it is opened, but I fear that this isn't what happened. I fear that it has been thrown away without regard, stuffed into a trash bin, abused and neglected.
Last night, in a moment of carelessness, I left my umbrella, despite all its years of commitment and service, in the park. It sat there all alone, abandoned. I hope that someone who needed an umbrella picked it up and will use it despite its akward bent spoke that has to fixed each time it is opened, but I fear that this isn't what happened. I fear that it has been thrown away without regard, stuffed into a trash bin, abused and neglected.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Voting
You should do it if you haven’t. It’s been a rough eight years and we still have a few more months to suffer through but today when I walked down the damp, leaf strewn streets on my way to the ballot drop off box I couldn’t keep the bounce out of my step. We’re still hours (god I hope not days) from finding out the end result but the bounce is more about the fact that I am playing a role, that I’m happy with my choice and that I’m thankful I get to voice my opinion.
On a side note, the whole Oregon mail in ballot thing -in most respects I have to say I love it. I think you get better informed voters because you have access to literature and the Internet, plus the time to contemplate your decision. However, when you mail it in, a certain little piece of the voting day excitement is missing. The confusion, the hassle, the annoying people are avoided, but you are still going to find me walking down to the ballot drop box on election day to drop my ballot off, because there is just something more exciting about everyone voting together on the same day.
On a side note, the whole Oregon mail in ballot thing -in most respects I have to say I love it. I think you get better informed voters because you have access to literature and the Internet, plus the time to contemplate your decision. However, when you mail it in, a certain little piece of the voting day excitement is missing. The confusion, the hassle, the annoying people are avoided, but you are still going to find me walking down to the ballot drop box on election day to drop my ballot off, because there is just something more exciting about everyone voting together on the same day.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Eating: Best Baguette
Starting what will apparently be a running theme – cheap things to do in Portland when you are broke – my roommates and I made our first foray into uber cheap dining in Portland last night.
We’ve long had roommate dinners. We all love to eat so it just made sense. We all also love to eat out, but my budget has often kept us at home eating delicious food prepared in our own kitchen. But I miss going out to eat, and I miss going out to eat with people I like. So with a little research initiative on my part and some suggestion help from The Williamette Week’s Dining Guide I came up with a list of places where I should be able to eat for under $5. (I think this list will pretty quickly have to expand to eating for under $10, but for now I’m sticking with the $5 limit.)
Last night was the first stop on our cheap dining voyage with a trip to Best Baguette on SE Powell. Despite their ‘beautifully’ done sign … seriously you must go look this was not what I was expecting. It definitely has the fast food feel to it, I think it might have been an old Denny’s or something, but it is surprisingly nice inside. Kind of like a cross between a fast food restaurant and a mom and pop bakery. They have both Asian and French Sandwiches, so even picky eaters can eat here, but my question to anyone bothering to go, is why bother with the boring old sandwich options you can get anywhere – live a little.
Grand total for my meal … $4.45. An Asian grilled pork sandwich for $2.85 and a diet coke for $1.50. Verdict … Really freakin’ good for $4.45. I would have liked more sandwich stuffing personally, but the meat was well prepared, the pickled veggies delicious and the sauce exactly what I expected and just as good as I imagined. The bread was a little old tasting but not enough to detract from the sandwich. I think the roommates summed it up best, “If I had paid $6 or $10 for the sandwich I’d be really disappointed, but for $3 this is amazing”.
I have to agree with them. I would certainly go back and I’d definitely pick one up if I was passing by there on my way. I would recommend going early if you can as they were disappointingly out of some of the appetizers the roommates were looking for. And if I might offer a suggestion for those of you rolling in cash, for a truly great meal, buy two sandwiches, toss the bread on one and pack all the yummy innards onto one baguette. If you’re feeling adventurous you could even get two different sandwiches and mix and match. The options become limitless.
We’ve long had roommate dinners. We all love to eat so it just made sense. We all also love to eat out, but my budget has often kept us at home eating delicious food prepared in our own kitchen. But I miss going out to eat, and I miss going out to eat with people I like. So with a little research initiative on my part and some suggestion help from The Williamette Week’s Dining Guide I came up with a list of places where I should be able to eat for under $5. (I think this list will pretty quickly have to expand to eating for under $10, but for now I’m sticking with the $5 limit.)
Last night was the first stop on our cheap dining voyage with a trip to Best Baguette on SE Powell. Despite their ‘beautifully’ done sign … seriously you must go look this was not what I was expecting. It definitely has the fast food feel to it, I think it might have been an old Denny’s or something, but it is surprisingly nice inside. Kind of like a cross between a fast food restaurant and a mom and pop bakery. They have both Asian and French Sandwiches, so even picky eaters can eat here, but my question to anyone bothering to go, is why bother with the boring old sandwich options you can get anywhere – live a little.
Grand total for my meal … $4.45. An Asian grilled pork sandwich for $2.85 and a diet coke for $1.50. Verdict … Really freakin’ good for $4.45. I would have liked more sandwich stuffing personally, but the meat was well prepared, the pickled veggies delicious and the sauce exactly what I expected and just as good as I imagined. The bread was a little old tasting but not enough to detract from the sandwich. I think the roommates summed it up best, “If I had paid $6 or $10 for the sandwich I’d be really disappointed, but for $3 this is amazing”.
I have to agree with them. I would certainly go back and I’d definitely pick one up if I was passing by there on my way. I would recommend going early if you can as they were disappointingly out of some of the appetizers the roommates were looking for. And if I might offer a suggestion for those of you rolling in cash, for a truly great meal, buy two sandwiches, toss the bread on one and pack all the yummy innards onto one baguette. If you’re feeling adventurous you could even get two different sandwiches and mix and match. The options become limitless.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Book: The Monsters of Templeton
by Lauren GroffI don’t think I can really describe this book and do it justice. The story is engaging, but the town and the history are enthralling. Groff’s voice is unlike anything I’ve read recently and I found it refreshing and energetic. On the surface this book sounds like the standard girl finding herself story line that has been recycled over and over, but this book is anything but recycled content.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Freebies
If you are going to find yourself broke there is really no better place to do it then Portland. Despite some of the recent financial traumas getting out and having fun this summer has, with a little research, been remarkably easy. Primarily because Portland is overflowing with free activities.
This week I spent Tuesday at Pecha Kucha. This is one of those grey areas of freebies as donations are encouraged, but until I can afford to pay all my bills and they don’t block the door, this event is free. Pecha Kucha is always interesting and a fun way to learn more about what is happening in your community and inside people’s heads. The basic premise is that creative types submit an idea of something they’d like to present and if chosen they present 20 slides with 20 seconds to speak per slide, giving them a grand totally of 6 minutes and 40 seconds to get their idea out there.
Then on Saturday I went and sat in the sun and enjoyed the annual Mt. Tabor Soap Box Derby. It was just one of those great days of lounging and enjoying being in Portland. Next year I strongly recommend you find some friends and a cooler and spend the day watching the crazy constructions come down the hill.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Moment of Clarity
I sprained my ankle last night, nothing serious mind you, but ridiculous and embarrassing. I was walking to the bus and stepped on what looked like a curb covered in vegetation, but was in fact, just vegetation. This happened of course, across the street from a large group or attractive men playing basketball (not that they noticed) and right in front of a super attractive cab driver. (Why is that when I take cabs I only ever get old guy drivers?)
Blushing through the embarrassment of responding to the cabbie’s concerned inquiry and having to crab walk myself out of the street and onto the sidewalk I realized two things. One, I’m far more concerned at this moment with what a group of basketball playing strangers and an attractive cab driver think of me then I am about having potentially seriously injured myself. And two, if I can’t walk the rest of the way to the bus I can’t afford to get home.
Sometimes, my life is sad.
Blushing through the embarrassment of responding to the cabbie’s concerned inquiry and having to crab walk myself out of the street and onto the sidewalk I realized two things. One, I’m far more concerned at this moment with what a group of basketball playing strangers and an attractive cab driver think of me then I am about having potentially seriously injured myself. And two, if I can’t walk the rest of the way to the bus I can’t afford to get home.
Sometimes, my life is sad.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Calm Spot
I’m broke. That is the fastest way to explain my situation. I could regale you with the long, sordid details of my very typical story, but what it boils down to is, I’m broke and in debt. I realize that this is a depressing fact for a lot of people in the United States, and that in the grand scheme of monetary wealth I’m way better off than the vast majority of the world population. But those truths don’t really get me around the fact that lately, I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over – what do you do when you find yourself poor?
For me anyway, the short term answer was to ignore it. It was a lot easier to not think about it than to try and figure out how to rectify my past mistakes. What can I say, it wasn’t smart, I knew it, but I did it anyway. I’m a procrastinator by nature. The unfortunate part though, is that I’m also a worrier. Eventually even I couldn’t ignore the phone calls or the fact that my mail was filled with unpleasantness. (And yes I tried letting it pile up and ignoring it – that is when the phone calls start.)
There is a lot of emotional baggage that goes along with the realization that you’ve made a mess of your life and basically put a roadblock to your future that is going to take years to climb over. And there are a lot of hard realities about being broke in a society that makes being poor awkward and socially isolating, but there are some key lessons (yes, lessons – I know, I know, cliché) that I have managed to garner out of this experience.
The big one, the one that starts the ball rolling to all the others, is responsibility. I never – or at least not for more than a few self-pity filled minutes – thought that my situation was somebody else’s fault. I know why I’m broke. I made really bad decisions for a long time, and even when I started making better ones, it was too late. I chose and I reaped the ‘rewards’. This basic concept of cause and effect seems to be eroding quickly and quietly in our society. There seems to be a lot of finger pointing these days and a lot of instantaneous gratifying going on. I am just as guilty as anyone else, but the thing is, late at night when I’m alone, I know that the only person truly responsible for my life is me.
This leads me to the next big lesson - the really hard one for a procrastinator like me - Action. Once you start accepting your own role in where you are, you are left with the only sure way of getting out. You are going to have to do something. I had to hit some walls and bounce off a few rock bottoms, but I’m finally beginning to learn that if I don’t do something then things are going to remain the same and since that is totally unacceptable to me my only path forward is to do something.
I’ve still got a constant stress level that is sky high, my heart beat skips when the phone rings, my mail is still scary to even look at, and I’m far, far away from any semblance of financial control. I often look in longing at the lottery Powerball billboards around town and daydream about the possibilities, but for some reason, just acknowledging that it is my fault and that I do have the ability to fix it, makes me feel better. Even though fixing it is going to be way harder than buying a lottery ticket.
For me anyway, the short term answer was to ignore it. It was a lot easier to not think about it than to try and figure out how to rectify my past mistakes. What can I say, it wasn’t smart, I knew it, but I did it anyway. I’m a procrastinator by nature. The unfortunate part though, is that I’m also a worrier. Eventually even I couldn’t ignore the phone calls or the fact that my mail was filled with unpleasantness. (And yes I tried letting it pile up and ignoring it – that is when the phone calls start.)
There is a lot of emotional baggage that goes along with the realization that you’ve made a mess of your life and basically put a roadblock to your future that is going to take years to climb over. And there are a lot of hard realities about being broke in a society that makes being poor awkward and socially isolating, but there are some key lessons (yes, lessons – I know, I know, cliché) that I have managed to garner out of this experience.
The big one, the one that starts the ball rolling to all the others, is responsibility. I never – or at least not for more than a few self-pity filled minutes – thought that my situation was somebody else’s fault. I know why I’m broke. I made really bad decisions for a long time, and even when I started making better ones, it was too late. I chose and I reaped the ‘rewards’. This basic concept of cause and effect seems to be eroding quickly and quietly in our society. There seems to be a lot of finger pointing these days and a lot of instantaneous gratifying going on. I am just as guilty as anyone else, but the thing is, late at night when I’m alone, I know that the only person truly responsible for my life is me.
This leads me to the next big lesson - the really hard one for a procrastinator like me - Action. Once you start accepting your own role in where you are, you are left with the only sure way of getting out. You are going to have to do something. I had to hit some walls and bounce off a few rock bottoms, but I’m finally beginning to learn that if I don’t do something then things are going to remain the same and since that is totally unacceptable to me my only path forward is to do something.
I’ve still got a constant stress level that is sky high, my heart beat skips when the phone rings, my mail is still scary to even look at, and I’m far, far away from any semblance of financial control. I often look in longing at the lottery Powerball billboards around town and daydream about the possibilities, but for some reason, just acknowledging that it is my fault and that I do have the ability to fix it, makes me feel better. Even though fixing it is going to be way harder than buying a lottery ticket.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Know a Lot About a Lot
It’s funny how just talking about something can impact choices days later. I was just discussing Helvetica, both the movie and the font, with some friends the other night and now it is the font I’m picking to type in. It seems to best represent the monotonous atmosphere of my life today. Not that there is anything wrong - besides the usual anyway. It is just that I can only handle boredom for so long and then I get antsy, angry, and frustrated at my own lack of motivation.
About a week ago I was listening to some Ani at work and this line from her song Willing to Fight popped out at me, “You got your whole life to do something & that’s not very long”. That sentiment just seemed to sum up my whole angsty mind frame. It fit so well with my recent obsessive thoughts about mortality and how quickly time is passing.
So I’m wondering … is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?
I certainly don’t feel like I’m in the middle of my life. I don’t even think I’ve scratched the surface of the possibilities of what my life can be. But I am certainly getting older and there is now a definite demarcation between me and the 20 something adults I see out. And there is now this ever constant nagging in the back of my mind that I am running out of time.
I don’t feel nearly old enough, but I already feel like I need to ask for a do over, like, uhm … excuse me? Fate? I don’t mean to seem ungrateful for the plethora of opportunities you’ve already given me, but … ahh … could you give me back the last 10 years or so? I think I made some mistakes.
I don’t even really mean mistakes. It’s more like opportunities wasted. Although if you asked me to name anything specific I wished I’d followed through on I’d be hard pressed to think of one. It is just starting to feel like I’ve let my natural tendency towards laziness and procrastination along with some un-nameable fear - fear of failing, fear of making someone not like me? – keep me from following through on life.
It’s also likely that it is less laziness and fear and really all about indecision and being easily distracted. It’s like that saying. “There are two types of people. Some know a little about a lot of things and others know a lot about a few things.” Well, I want the time and energy to know a lot about a lot of things. Because how do you narrow down the possibilities enough to pick a few of the innumerable fascinating topics and experiences out there and say, this is it! This is the one!
About a week ago I was listening to some Ani at work and this line from her song Willing to Fight popped out at me, “You got your whole life to do something & that’s not very long”. That sentiment just seemed to sum up my whole angsty mind frame. It fit so well with my recent obsessive thoughts about mortality and how quickly time is passing.
So I’m wondering … is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?
I certainly don’t feel like I’m in the middle of my life. I don’t even think I’ve scratched the surface of the possibilities of what my life can be. But I am certainly getting older and there is now a definite demarcation between me and the 20 something adults I see out. And there is now this ever constant nagging in the back of my mind that I am running out of time.
I don’t feel nearly old enough, but I already feel like I need to ask for a do over, like, uhm … excuse me? Fate? I don’t mean to seem ungrateful for the plethora of opportunities you’ve already given me, but … ahh … could you give me back the last 10 years or so? I think I made some mistakes.
I don’t even really mean mistakes. It’s more like opportunities wasted. Although if you asked me to name anything specific I wished I’d followed through on I’d be hard pressed to think of one. It is just starting to feel like I’ve let my natural tendency towards laziness and procrastination along with some un-nameable fear - fear of failing, fear of making someone not like me? – keep me from following through on life.
It’s also likely that it is less laziness and fear and really all about indecision and being easily distracted. It’s like that saying. “There are two types of people. Some know a little about a lot of things and others know a lot about a few things.” Well, I want the time and energy to know a lot about a lot of things. Because how do you narrow down the possibilities enough to pick a few of the innumerable fascinating topics and experiences out there and say, this is it! This is the one!
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